CATARACT Issue 1

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CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 1

	[Hallway outside of Academic Office. JOE is waiting, armed with several notebooks and a coat over her arm. JOE is female, white, mid-20s. She has shoulder-length medium brown hair, worn up in a ponytail. She is generally to be found in typical student casual clothes, particularly Bitterman University sweatshirts, but she is currently wearing student dressy/business casual wear.]
	[After a while, PUN and TAFFY appear, also loaded down and wearing coats. TAFFY is also female, mid-20s. In appearance, TAFFY is the average anime bimbette; short-waisted, long blonde hair, big round eyes. She changes hair styles and outfits as often as possible; for the occasion she has adopted a frippier version of JOE's ponytail and attire. PUN is male, mid-20s. He has short black hair and glasses. PUN tends to outfits that look like uniforms even though no one else is wearing them.]
	[These three characters are collectively referred to as the TRIAD.]
JOE:	[Checking her watch.] We still have a few minutes, so let’s make sure we’re not forgetting anything. Pun, you’ve got the photos?
PUN:	[Indicating his armful.] Right here. I finished the captions last night.
JOE:	Good. I’ve got our journals, plus all the original proposal materials.
TAFFY:	[Eagerly displaying a shopping bag.] I brought all the stuff I bought!
JOE:	Swell. [Back to PUN.] Anything else?
	[PUN shakes his head. JOE and PUN take a moment to gather themselves.]
JOE:	[Pausing with her hand on the doorknob; to herself.] Know me, Seshat . . . .
	[JOE opens the door. The three enter a stereotypical Academic Office and are met by the uncurious look of a stereotypical academic SECRETARY.]
SECRET:	Yes?
JOE:	We’re the Egyptology graduate department. We’ve got a meeting to review our field report.
	[The SECRETARY ponders her calendar while JOE and PUN try to look professional and TAFFY peruses the pictures on the walls.]
SECRET:	At two?
JOE:	That’s right. We—
SECRET:	They’re running behind. Take a seat and I’ll let you know when they’re ready for you.
	[JOE hesitates, then retreats to the seats in question, followed by PUN and TAFFY, taking off their coats. TAFFY pulls a small figure of Bes out of her bag and starts playing with it while JOE and PUN quickly give way to boredom.]

Grad Student God Wars CATARACT

Issue 1

In which the heroes are introduced and get their powers and very little else.

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 2

	[Office-cum-meeting room.]
CHAIR:	Now, Ms. Schmoe . . .
	[The TRIAD are revealed sitting in the same order, now at a meeting table.]
JOE:	Yes, sir.
	[The CHAIR is revealed opposite the TRIAD, bracketed by a similar academic bureaucratic FLUNKY and the elderly Egyptology Professor, PROF. FUSTERING. An uncomfortable moment passes.]
	[At some point in this scene, a few other people are observed: the SECRETARY wanders in and out, there is a STUDENT worker taking notes.]
CHAIR:	You must realize the report you filed regarding your research expedition is . . .
JOE:	Yes, sir.
FLUNKY:	[After another pause.] Of course, with your entire department under review, you wish to promote your work. And it is not unusual that these reports should be . . . somewhat exaggerated.
JOE:	I assure you—
FLUNKY:	But you understand this kind of foolishness hardly recommends you.
JOE:	[Annoyed.] That report is completely accurate.
	[The two bureaucrats look toward PROF. FUSTERING.]
PROF F:	Now, kids, it’s not your fault the trip went wrong. Since Prof. Barre failed to meet you in Cairo . . . .

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 3

	Notes
	[Aswan Train Station: It is mid-December, which makes it less hot but very crowded. JOE, PUN and TAFFY detrain. They’ve been traveling non-stop for several days and JOE and PUN look it. They haul the luggage (a duffel bag each for JOE and PUN and about four matching suitcases for TAFFY) outside the station before giving in and dropping it again. JOE sits on the largest of TAFFY’s suitcases.]
PUN:	[Waits until JOE raises her head again.] It should only be two blocks to the hostel.
JOE:	Yeah, but we can’t get in until two. Assuming there’s space anyway! [Stretches.] I bet the Greeks don’t spend their Athens summers this way! [Sighs, stands and starts to gather luggage.] All right, let’s . . . [Attempts to hand a bag to TAFFY, who is no longer present.] Where’s she now?
	[They look up and down the street and spot TAFFY at a souvenir stand. JOE throws the bags down and starts after her.]
PUN:	I’ll get her.
JOE:	[Sitting back down.] Know me, Wepwawet . . . .
	[PUN pulls TAFFY back into scene, then they gather up their luggage, and head to the Youth Hostel. Collapsing again, JOE guards the luggage, waiting for the hostel to open, while PUN runs after a gadding TAFFY.]

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 4

	Notes
	[Aswan Youth Hostel. The following morning. PUN is waiting in one of the common areas. JOE, irritated, comes out to meet him.]
PUN:	Good morning.
JOE:	I hope so. [Sits, then notices PUN looking around.] She’s still getting ready.
PUN:	We don’t have to be out until ten.
JOE:	Maybe, but we don’t have the time. We’ve only got until the end of break, and we’re already behind!
PUN:	I’m sure there’s some reason Prof. Barre didn’t meet us.
JOE:	Fine for her! We barely made it here on our own; how are we supposed to get out to the digs? If we don’t come up with something to show for this trip, the administration’ll—
	[TAFFY enters in full form, although not entirely inappropriately for a Muslim country.]
TAFFY:	Good morning!
	[PUN smiles at her while JOE tries not to glare.]
JOE:	Ready, are you?
TAFFY:	Of course. Where are we going?
JOE:	I’m going back to the train station to call around and see what I can find out.
PUN:	The phones aren’t supposed to be too reliable.
JOE:	We can check the hotels in person if it comes to it, but for now this should be faster. I’ll just leave messages in case Prof. Barre shows. I already left one for her here, and tried her social media accounts last night.
TAFFY:	What about me and Pun?
JOE:	Might as well see what there is to see around here. Stay together. Oh, and remember to register at the police station.
PUN:	There’s nothing we can do to help?
JOE:	If you find any rare artifacts, be sure to get one for me!

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 5

	[A collage of pictures of monuments and sites around Aswan proper. TAFFY is featured in most of them.]
	[Also a number of TAFFY at street stalls, "Ancient Relics Cheap," etc., shopping. One of them shows her buying the Bes image.]
	[Final shot of a frustrated JOE on the phone.]

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 6

	Notes
	[Youth Hostel. JOE is collapsed on a bunk with her arm over her eyes. TAFFY sits nearby, absently looking at the day’s purchases.]
	[PUN enters with drinks. TAFFY clears space for him. They sit a moment, but JOE does not react.]
TAFFY:	Joe! Pun’s back!
	[JOE sighs and sits up.]
PUN:	[Handing her a drink.] It’s only been a couple of days.
JOE:	[Sighs again.] Right. Tomorrow I’ll start going around to the hotels.
TAFFY:	We can help.
JOE:	No. We’re betting most of the departmental budget that we can find something spectacular. Some of us had better actually be looking!
	[TAFFY giggles and hugs her Bes.]
JOE:	[Noticing the collection.] On the other hand, that doesn’t mean you have to bring it all back with you! Bes, huh?
TAFFY:	This?
	[JOE rolls her eyes, so PUN fills in for TAFFY’s benefit.]
PUN:	Household god; patron of music and make-up; protector of women in childbirth. Probably a foreign import, possibly of Nubian extraction.
JOE:	[Smiles slightly.] I think we need gods of a more academic bent right now . . . .

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 7

	[Another collage of pictures of TAFFY, this time touring sites further afield from Aswan. She still shops every chance she gets.]
	[Final shot of JOE sleeping in her clothes at the hostel.]

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 8

	[A street corner not far from the marketplace. JOE and PUN are eating some munchies purchased from the marketplace and comparing lists. TAFFY can be seen off and on buying various useless things.]
PUN:	[Consulting a travel guide.] That would cover all the listings except the campgrounds.
JOE:	Hardly matters at this point anyway. No guide, no time, and the bare remains of the lowest budget at Bitty U!
PUN:	We’re here for another day, though. Come with us and we’ll find something.
JOE:	Can’t hurt to try. Egyptology’ll stay an independent department if it kills us. "Antiquities," nothing!
	[Finishing dinner, they get up. Passing through the marketplace, they pull TAFFY away from the stand labeled "Antiquities," and return to the hostel.]

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 9

	Notes
	[The ferry to Elephantine Island.]
JOE:	Sorry to drag you guys back out here.
PUN:	It’s your day. Besides, we didn’t try to get into the temple before.
JOE:	They say anybody can get in if they bribe the right people. If we’re going to wind up as a three-week seminar, we might as well use up all our budget!
	[They land and make their way toward the temple.]

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 10

	Notes
	[The Temple of Khnum.]
TAFFY:	It’s beautiful!
JOE:	Well, take a good look. I don’t think we’re going to be coming back.
TAFFY:	Now, don’t say that . . .
JOE:	[Looking up at a carving.] "Be not unaware of me, O Khnum. If you know me, I will know you."
TAFFY:	Joe . . . [Looks to PUN for help.]
PUN:	Um . . . do you know the legend about gods no one worships anymore?
TAFFY:	Tell us!
PUN:	The story is that if you find a forgotten god, he’ll be so happy to have worshipers again, he’ll grant your prayers.
TAFFY:	Really?
JOE:	Hm. New one on me.
PUN:	A very late development.
JOE:	Ah. After my time. [Looks around.] Well, this would be the place to do it. And I’m just about desperate enough to give it a shot!
	[As JOE and PUN continue by, in the background TAFFY does.]
JOE:	Do you smell . . . ?
	[The three abruptly transform into the exact representation of the Elephantine TRIAD: in the order seen below, Khnum, Satis, and Anukis.]

JOE:	[Now dressed as Satis, hastily covering the parts of herself that her costume suddenly doesn’t.] Aah!
	[JOE peers nearsightedly at PUN, in the form of Khnum, who is distracted from trying to figure out what has happened to his head to look at her woefully.]
JOE:	AAH!! What the— Who— Taffy!
	[Both turn to TAFFY, dressed as Anukis. She has pulled her dress up to cover herself, but is still blushing and giggling self-consciously.]
TAFFY:	Well, you WANTED something impressive . . .
JOE:	You mean you— Just who were you praying to?
TAFFY:	Bes, of course!
JOE:	You had to pick a god with a sense of humor! [Considers their situation briefly.] I don’t suppose you could pray for alterations?

CATARACT Issue 1: Scene 11

	[Meeting room. The bureaucrats are staring at the TRIAD blankly. PROF. FUSTERING looks away, embarrassed.]
FLUNKY:	Now, really!
JOE:	[Rising.] Why would we make up something like that?
PUN:	[Trying to calm her.] Joe . . .
TAFFY:	[Leaping to the defense.] It’s the truth!
	[The two sides glare at each other.]
PROF F:	Now, kids, I know how concerned you are about the proposed departmental merger—
JOE:	So we’re desperate as well as stupid? Fine, explain this! [Invocation pose.]
TAFFY:	[Enthusiastically.]
PUN:	[Obediently.]
	[They transform. In their modified outfits, the radical headgear has been reduced to insignia fronting a gold headband. All are dressed in white, with tri-color beaded collar and varying degrees of gold and semi-precious jewelry (PUN the least and TAFFY, of course, the most). JOE now appears in a calf-length gown with carnelian jewelry. Her hair has fallen, revealing its Cleopatra-cut. TAFFY wears an ankle-length gown with turquoise, and her hair also hangs loose. PUN has an knee-length tunic with lapis lazuli trimmings. Obviously magical arrangements have been made for the myopic members; PUN's glasses have disappeared and JOE no longer squints at people.]
	[When transformed in this fashion, the characters are referred to in combination with the name of the relevent deity: PUN-Khnum, JOE-Satis, and TAFFY-Anukis.]
	[The TRIAD tries to pose dramatically. After a moment, the STUDENT worker starts laughing. The Board is underwhelmed.]
FLUNKY:	This is hardly the time for theatrics.
JOE:	But it’s not a trick; we found an actual Egyptian deity who—
FLUNKY:	Do you think we can present . . . this to the academic community?
JOE:	But Bes—
CHAIR:	Do you have any concrete archeological finds or not?
	[JOE-Satis is left boggled, so PUN-Khnum steps in.]
PUN:	Well, Taffy has some items that—
FLUNKY:	Well, let’s see them.
	[TAFFY-Anukis looks at JOE-Satis, who shrugs. TAFFY-Anukis dumps her hoard on the table. PROF. FUSTERING eagerly starts rifling through the junk. JOE-Satis sits slowly. The other two sit after her.]
PROF F:	[Surfacing with a handful of articles.] Some of these might actually be of interest. [Holds up the "rare artifact, cheap." This necklace, for example . . .
	[Scene fades as JOE-Satis drops her head in her hands.]