CATARACT Issue 2

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CATARACT Issue 2: Scene 1

	Notes
	[Egyptology Dept Office. Actually an electrical closet fitted with small desks and a few shelves. There are various appropriate books and artifacts placed about the office, and a bulletin board against one wall. One particular artifact is an ushabti, whether real or facsimile.]
	[See individuals’ areas: JOE’s is cluttered with all manner of relevent paraphenalia as well as the office computer, at least a couple of years out-of-date and bearing a large "Property of Bitterman University" sticker. PUN’s space is immaculate, and TAFFY’s is full mostly of things she considers "cute," including her image of Bes.]
	[Pan across bulletin board: Egyptology course descriptions, clipped and posted; 𓋹𓍑𓋴 on a card or poster of some sort; Calligraphic’s motto ("Hail to the Sun God! He is the Fun God! Ra! Ra! Ra!") on a button; a calendar open to January. The first day of classes in late January is marked.]

Grad Student God Wars CATARACT

Issue 2

In which the heroes’ circumstances are more fully revealed and a plan is conceived to improve them.

CATARACT Issue 2: Scene 2

	Notes
	[Small classroom. The room is obviously overcrowded, especially since most of the people are still wearing their winter gear. JOE enters. A couple of steps in, she stops abruptly.]
JOE:	What the—?
	[The room looks at her expectantly. At a loss, she double-checks her student list. There are eight names on it.]
JOE:	[Trying to recover control.] Listen, this is (Introduction to Egyptology, Course ##2). [Nobody moves.] You can’t all be registered for this course.
VOICE:	I’m auditing!
	[Other voices join in, agreeing.]
JOE:	[Glaring, suspicious.] Well, I’m afraid there isn’t enough space. There are other sections—
VOICE:	Do all the TAs have costumes?
JOE:	[Losing her temper.] That does it. Out! If your name isn’t on this list, then get out!
	[JOE continues to stare at the interlopers, who gradually leave, disappointed. MAY stands, hesitating.]
JOE:	What!
MAY:	I really can’t move to a different section . . .
JOE:	[Startled.] You really want to audit . . .?
MAY:	I’m ex-mu; I was in Pun’s section last semester, but . . .
JOE:	I’m sorry, of course you can stay.
	[MAY sits back down. JOE turns to the board and picks up chalk.]
VOICE:	Aren’t you going to transform now?
	[JOE breaks the chalk against the board.]

CATARACT Issue 2: Scene 3

	Notes
	[Egyptology Dept Office. PUN is at his desk when JOE enters, looking harried. He watches as she maneuvers to her desk and drops her bag on it.]
PUN:	Bad day?
JOE:	Yes.
PUN:	Want to talk about it?
JOE:	No.
	[They start to work in silence. The door is suddenly flung open and TAFFY-Anukis bounces in, followed by a small crowd.]
TAFFY:	Good morning!
	[PUN and JOE stare at her a moment, frozen. A student reporter, taking notes, approaches them.]
REPORT:	And you’re the other two who—?
JOE:	Out! Everybody out!
	[JOE chases the extraneous people out of the office, then turns on TAFFY-Anukis.]
JOE:	What are you doing?
TAFFY:	What?
PUN:	Have you really been running around like that?
TAFFY:	Why not?
JOE:	Taffy! They’re trying to eliminate our department! Do you want us to look like a joke?
TAFFY:	[Crestfallen.] I didn’t mean . . .
JOE:	[Calming.] No, it’s my fault. If I hadn’t lost my temper at the review meeting, nobody’d even know about the whole thing.
TAFFY:	Is there anything I can do?
JOE:	You could go get us more campus mailers. I’m going to have to revise all my class lists . . .
TAFFY:	Sure! [She bounces toward the door.]
JOE:	Taffy—!
	[TAFFY-Anukis opens the door. A crowd peers eagerly in, and she shuts it quickly again.]
TAFFY:	[Look down at her outfit, then grins sheepishly toward JOE.] Sorry . . . .

CATARACT Issue 2: Scene 4

	[Egyptology Dept Office. Later that day. JOE is at her desk and PUN shuffles papers off to one side. JOE leans back and sighs.]
PUN:	She’ll be back soon.
JOE:	I’d go get them myself, but I’m afraid to open the door. Of course, if we’re stuck in here much longer, we’re the ones who’ll need help . . .
	[TAFFY peeks in, then enters reluctantly, in civvies.]
JOE:	You’re back.
PUN:	And with envelopes!
	[TAFFY hands her stack over to PUN, then looks hesitantly at JOE again.]
JOE:	What?
TAFFY:	Don’t be mad . . . .
JOE:	[Suspicious.] What!
TAFFY:	I, um . . . transformed again. Only for a minute, though! [JOE glares at her.] The guys in Classical—
JOE:	The Greeks! What’d you go there for?
TAFFY:	Nobody else had envelopes. Really. And they said in Classical that they’d only give them to me if I did, so . . .
	[JOE stands up abruptly and starts to cross the room.]
PUN:	Now, Joe . . .
	[JOE opens a connection cabinet. One of the connections is marked: "Classical Archaeology. In case of emergency, pull here." JOE does. TAFFY giggles.]
PUN:	[Smiling.] You know that only annoys the net admin.
JOE:	It also makes me feel better. [Sighs.] For a while, anyway . . . .

CATARACT Issue 2: Scene 5

	[Joe’s Classroom. Some days later. This time the room is completely packed; many people are even standing along the walls. JOE enters. More annoyed than surprised, she very deliberately goes to the front and places her things on the desk.]
JOE:	Know me, Seshat . . . . Didn’t I get rid of all of you last Friday?
	[The class reponds with incoherent mumbles and a great deal of grinning.]
JOE:	OUT! [Forcefully ushers out her excess attendees. Turning to her remaining students.] Didn’t I get rid of all of them last week?
MAY:	[Hesitantly.] Probably the paper . . . .
JOE:	The paper?
	[Every student pulls out a copy of the school newspaper, some physical and some electronic, each one displaying a large picture of TAFFY-Anukis. The headline reads, "Campus Cosplay."]

CATARACT Issue 2: Scene 6

	[Hallway. The hall leading to the Egyptology office is crowded with ogling students. PUN hovers on the fringes, then falls in behind JOE as she forces her way through.
	[They make it to the door, only to discover a copy of the newspaper article plastered to it, with a sign covering "Egyptology" reading "Amateur Theatrics."]
	[JOE shows definite signs of cracking and PUN looks on worriedly as she tears open the door and goes inside. Before the crowd can follow she reemerges with a letter opener and pries off the offending sign.]
	[TAFFY also comes out of the office and she and PUN follow JOE with the crowd behind them as JOE stalks off to the Classical Archaeology office.]
JOE:	[Stopping abruptly in direct sight of the office, but some distant off.] Theatrics, is it?! [Transformation.] [JOE-Satis reaches up and grasps the pet hieroglyphic which becomes a bow in her hand. She starts to prepare to shoot, noticing belatedly that she doesn’t have an arrow to go with it. Sighs.] [Takes the arrow and prepares to fire (overdrawing), holding the sign in front.]
PUN:	Do you know how to use that?
JOE:	Satis is an archer-goddess, isn’t she?
	[JOE-Satis releases, neatly pinning the sign over the door label. TAFFY and the crowd applaud. JOE-Satis turns, startled, then realizes she’s just contributed to her own problems . . . .]

CATARACT Issue 2: Scene 7

	[Office. JOE is sitting with her head on her desk. TAFFY is looking on worriedly. PUN enters.]
PUN:	The paper again?
	[WIthout rising or answering, JOE holds up the latest edition, featuring a picture of JOE-Satis with PUN and TAFFY looking on.]
TAFFY:	At least it’s not a bad picture . . . .
JOE:	[Lifts her head to glare at TAFFY.] Don’t you start. I’m beginning to think that Bes of yours is setting us up.
PUN:	Well, as far as we know, he only started dealing with us at all because he was looking for some support.
JOE:	So are we, and you don’t see us stooping to cheap publicity tricks— [Suddenly looks up at PUN.]

CATARACT Issue 2: Scene 8

	[University quad. The TRIAD, in full regalia, appears on the roof of one of the buildings. JOE-Satis summons bow and arrow and dramatically shoots a flier across the quad onto a message board on the other side. The TRIAD acknowledges cheers from the students below (JOE-Satis with bow turned), although PUN-Khnum and TAFFY-Anukis have obviously noticed it’s winter.]
PUN:	[Hesitantly.] Joe . . . aren’t you cold?
JOE:	Yes. Yes, I am. [Turns and leads the other two back inside.] I wonder if there’s a spell for that . . . .
	[The flier. It is dominated by a large pin-up picture of TAFFY-Anukis with the legend "Support Egyptology: Rally, 101 XX Hall, Some Date, 7pm."]