CATARACT Issue 3

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CATARACT Issue 3: Scene 1

	[Egyptology Office. JOE enters their office to be greeted by AM-BAIU, teeth first. A diminutive version of the Eyptian monster called the Devourer of Souls, AM-BAIU has the head of a crocodile, the mane and forelegs of a lion and the body and hind quarters of a hippopotamus. It is also sporting a large pink ribbon tied in a bow.]
JOE:	[Throwing up an arm defensively.] Aah!
	[AM-BAIU sits in front of her, wiggling excitedly.]
JOE:	[Relieved, then annoyed.] All right, who summoned up the Devourer of Souls?! [To herself.] And why is it wearing pink?
TAFFY:	[Entering behind JOE.] Ambie!
	[AM-BAIU bounds cheerfully into TAFFY’s arms.]
JOE:	Silly me. [To TAFFY.] Why . . . ?
TAFFY:	Pun made him for me!
JOE:	Pun? [Looks over at PUN.]
PUN:	[Embarassed.] Well, I’ve got Khnum’s wheel . . .
JOE:	[Dumbfounded.] Khnum’s wheel? You mean you actually MADE . . . ?
	[PUN doesn’t answer right away, so TAFFY jumps in again.]
TAFFY:	[Gushing.] It just appeared a couple days ago, but I’d been thinking you’ve got your bow and arrows and Pun should have something, too, so I brought it in.
JOE:	Well, I guess it goes with the outfit . . . [Considers AM-BAIU more closely.] But creating life’s a little outside the regular curriculum.
PUN:	I think they’re something more like golems. Once I thought to make something to serve as a ka, it was pretty easy. [Indicates a shelf nearby, where two pottery statues have been placed.]
JOE:	[Looks at the kas. Failing to make a connection, she turns them sideways.] Oh! A Seth animal, too?
TAFFY:	He’s for you!
JOE:	Me? [Looks around the office.] Is it here?
PUN:	Under your desk, last I saw. It doesn’t seem to get along too well with Am-baiu.
	[JOE pulls out her chair to look under the desk. HORNUNG had curled up on the chair under the top of the desk. It now looks up at her.]

Grad Student God Wars CATARACT

Issue 3

In which arrangements and mascots are made and lost.

CATARACT Issue 3: Scene 2

	[Egyptology Office. JOE is now sitting on the chair with HORNUNG on the desk in front of her. HORNUNG and AM-BAIU engage in various puppy behavior during the scene.]
JOE:	I finally got confirmation that no one else is planning anything in XX Hall. So it’ll be all ours.
TAFFY:	What are we going to do?
JOE:	I was rather hoping you’d tell us. You’re the experienced party-goer in this crowd.
TAFFY:	[Obviously delighted at the prospect.] Ooh!
JOE:	Pun, can you keep an eye on the Greeks for us?
PUN:	You think they’ll try to sabotage the rally?
JOE:	I’d be surprised if they didn’t! And they’ve got the advantage, with nearly twice as many people . . . . But one of us has to help Taffy with the arrangements, so there’s only one left.
PUN:	Which would be me. All right.

CATARACT Issue 3: Scene 3

	[Egyptology Office. Which is now entirely crammed with boxes of party materials. JOE is trying to work at her desk. HORNUNG is perched on top of the boxes overlooking her progress.]
	[PUN barely manages to enter through the partly blocked doorway.]
JOE:	Sorry.
PUN:	It’s not your fault.
JOE:	Well, I was the one who put Taffy in charge of the rally.
PUN:	And she’s obviously working hard at it!
	[PUN manuevers over to his desk.]
JOE:	And how about you?
PUN:	The Classical TAs, you mean? It’s hard to keep track of them all around our class schedules. I do imagine it’s them that have been putting graffiti on our fliers and posting those comments . . . .
JOE:	If that’s the worst of it, so much the better. Now if only we can pull off this rally, we may really have a chance!
PUN:	[Looks around at the boxes.] Well, no one can say we aren’t well equipped . . . .

CATARACT Issue 3: Scene 4

	Notes
	[Cafeteria. TAFFY and JOE pondering over plans while having lunch. The cafeteria is crowded, but their immediate vicinity is deserted except for their coats and bags, among which HORNUNG is lurking, the perimeter being guarded by AM-BAIU.]
TAFFY:	[Pouting a bit.] It would be so much easier outside.
JOE:	Because no one would be there. It’s February! [TAFFY remains unmollified, so she adds.] Besides, we’ve already posted the location everywhere.
TAFFY:	[Still put out.] I guess.
JOE:	But it does mean that we’ll only have a couple of hours to set up.
TAFFY:	No problem! As long as we get everything ready first.
JOE:	In our office? There’s no room to work!
TAFFY:	It’ll be all right, really!
	[HORNUNG and AM-BAIU suddenly start yowling, then HORNUNG just as suddenly freezes solid.]
JOE:	Hornung?
	[When the girls fail to get any response out of HORNUNG, they both look to AM-BAIU who is now hiding under the table but otherwise unaffected. TAFFY scoops it up protectively.]
TAFFY:	What happened? What do we do?
JOE:	[Picking HORNUNG up. She pulls out her phone.] Find Pun!

CATARACT Issue 3: Scene 5

	[Egyptology Office. The girls burst in, an action facilitated by the unexpected emptiness of the office.]
JOE:	[Freezing just inside the door.] What the—?
	[TAFFY runs into JOE from behind, getting a protest from AM-BAIU, who she is still holding. The girls then look about. Most of the boxes have disappeared, although miscellaneous items once contained in them are strewn about the floor. JOE gingerly makes her way over to her desk and puts HORNUNG down.]
JOE:	I don’t believe it!
	[TAFFY follows suit and AM-BAIU wriggles out of her arms and start pawing at something on the floor.]
TAFFY:	Ambie? [Finds him with his ka on the floor and picks it up.] Joe, look.
JOE:	Am-baiu’s ka? [Looks up at the shelf, which has been dislodged.] The kas!
	[JOE searches the floor and comes across HORNUNG’s ka, which was broken in the fall.]
JOE:	Well, this really tears it! This time, I’m gonna . . . .
TAFFY:	What? You think it was the Greeks?
JOE:	Who else would want to take our stuff? [Sits down again, muttering to herself.] Know me, Mafdet . . . .
TAFFY:	What are we going to do?
JOE:	[Sighs roughly.] Find Pun!
	[JOE gets PUN’s schedule from his desk.]
JOE:	[Sighs.] Nothing here. Why don’t you check phone messages?
	[TAFFY obediently calls up the University phone system, while JOE checks their e-mail.]
TAFFY:	Just more messages from the paper.
JOE:	I doubt he’d go there . . . .
	[JOE returns to PUN’s desk and looks around. TAFFY follows. Eventually JOE thinks to check the recycling and pulls out an envelope.]
JOE:	The grad library!

CATARACT Issue 3: Scene 6

	[Grad Library (Outside). Next to the library is a small open area with benches, bushes, grass and walkways. Toward the center of the park is an open-air artwork reminiscent of a herm in the original sense, a marker made of piled stones.]
	[Near the library entrance, TAFFY sits on a bench sniffling while JOE paces nearby. If deemed necessary, a sign may be evident that warns library patrons to turn off their phones while inside. Eventually PUN emerges, and the girls immediately pounce on him.]
JOE:	Where have you been?
PUN:	[Nonplussed.] Some of my books were requested— What’s wrong?
TAFFY:	They killed Hornung!
	[TAFFY bursts into tears and grabs PUN’s arm.]
PUN:	[Awkwardly trying to comfort TAFFY while looking to JOE.] What?
JOE:	The Greeks broke into our office and stole all the party supplies. [Putting a hand on TAFFY’s shoulder.] They also broke Hornung’s ka.
PUN:	It’s not working anymore? [Making a vain attempt not to let TAFFY hear.] Am-baiu?
JOE:	It’s fine; we left it to guard the office. Not much point now, though.
TAFFY:	What are we going to do?
	[The TRIAD move back to the bench, where PUN and TAFFY sit together. JOE remains standing, still agitated.]
JOE:	What can we do? If the department could afford to buy supplies, we wouldn’t have been spending our own money to begin with!
TAFFY:	But we have to do something! It’s not fair!
PUN:	I think you may be the only one who can do anything now.
	[TAFFY looks bemused.]
JOE:	Pray for a party? Somehow that seems . . . .
PUN:	Bes is something of a party god. So to speak.
JOE:	Still—
TAFFY:	I’ll do it!